Now what in the world do we mean when we say welcome? Why do we say that? We put it on our shoe mats, hang it on our doors and walls. The words often leak out of mouths in casual conversation with little thought into what we mean to the other we are saying it to.
Every language in this world has a word for it and oddly enough, they all mean about the same. It has a lot to do with conveying through a combination of words, acts and gestures that creates an atmosphere around someone that says they matter and it is good for us to have them in our company. That kind of illustrates the attitude that G-d shows us to put on (or draw out from within) in regards to our neighbours (those in our immediate mind or presence). G-d's love is initiated in the act and spirit of welcome, as He is kind, accepts us as we are and invites us to draw nearer to Him. He wants us to be like Him.
Being a welcoming bunch is something that is implied in being a Christian. It is often expected by those in and out of it. It is implied throughout the bible, especially in the New Testament where it is mainly used in relational contexts between one another in the body, usually without regard to ones status, circumstances or issues.
It can be a challenge to be welcoming to others when they are not where we are at; especially when it comes to folks whose circumstances appear different than ours. It can also be awkward to welcome those we know who are facing difficulties we don't have a personal understanding of.
"Yes, I read the bible once; was looking for loopholes...didn't find any though."
-- W.C. Fields
It is just as challenging for someone to receive a welcoming act and feel welcomed as some feel alone, un-worthy of attention or fearful of rejection should someone get to close. While there are barriers to welcoming; there are no excuses for not welcoming another, unless someone is coming at you with another gospel or willfully flaunting sin. Jesus gives us a rebuke for not welcoming (Matthew 25:43). Perhaps we may be able to come up with a few if we spent a little more time looking for them. Galatians 6 also presents an exception to an exception.
I believe we have an innate ability to sense if we are welcome; some more than others. That sense may come out of perceptions of past experiences or possibly from an objective observation. Those of us in distress or dealing with personal issues may not feel safe enough to accepting initial welcoming acts. Initial observations of those around them may bring to mind past hurts or unpleasant memories. Once burnt; twice shy comes to mind. Perception plays a big part in this when wounds from past experiences have not been dealt with and healed.
Welcoming is woven all through out the bible in idea, spirit and themes. A good (G-d?) exercise would be to have Him show you where welcoming is woven in to the word. I found a lot of places where we are exhorted and encouraged to be welcoming.
In Romans 12 we are reminded that we are part of one body and members of one another; devoted to one another in brotherly love; giving preference to one another in honor. We are called to be of the same mind to one another and to associate with those (lower) in less preferable circumstances.
In Romans 14 we are reminded to the call to love one another; to put aside judging and pursue the building up of one another.
In Romans 15 we are accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God. That is the essence of welcoming; accepting one another.
What about welcoming the sinful ones? Can we turn our backs? Galatians 6 rebut rarely out ofminds is that welcoming comes before restoring someone who is caught in a sin, to be gentle and careful as we carry each other's burdens. It is hard to carry someone's burdens and carefully restore someone if we do not accept them as Jesus accepts us. I think we can be thankful that He doesn't accept us in the same way we sometimes practice our acceptance of others.
Thought: It is the goodness of G-d that leads us to repentance (change). Ask Him for a personal revelation of that.
No matter where we are in our lives, the acceptance and support received from those around us is an important aspect of a healthy personal outlook and a vital community. We tend to take it for granted when we are in the realm of wellness and favour. However, for those outside that realm, it is longed for. Some are longing without hope or satisfaction.
Feeling welcomed provides a good base for helping someone know that we are safe to be with, that is we can be trusted to know a little more about where they are at and what they are struggling with. It also makes it easier to receive much needed encouragement and exhortation.
Here is something to ponder; Welcoming does the gathering and protecting; encouraging and encouraging does the lifting and strengthening; Community and fellowship give the process of building up a chance to work.
Being welcomed is a good first step to preventing someone from falling through the cracks of our Communities. Being welcoming towards someone is like first aid to those who we have found in those cracks. I often wonder what was going through the minds of the Samaritan and the fallen one during their relationship. I imagine G-d would reveal a bit of that if we asked. I have a STRONG belief that it is a reflection of the Father's heart to pursue and lift the fallen invisible whether in or out of the Kingdom. Being a welcoming person and a people of welcome is also a good place to start when it comes to connecting with others.
To be welcomed is something we all desire, especially to the others in the cracks. This is the Father's heart for all of us.
"When the bottom falls out, either through personal tragedy or national disasters, the only shelter will be found in the shadow of the Almighty and in the fellowship of His saints."
-- Reuven and Mary Lou Doron, from their post in the Nightwatch Blog
I had a nudge to write about the topic of welcome shortly after a funeral of an important person to me. He was a very welcoming person who left a huge legacy of friends, especially those who somehow found themselves in the cracks. By falling through the cracks i mean when the "bottom falls out" of someones support fabric and nobody notices.
The common assumption today is that all is well with my neighbour. When some calamity or radical change in circumstances happens we assume that a person is coping if they are not sharing too many details. Fear rejection or shame can prevent someone from feeling safe enough to share about what is going on. A common response is to fear judgment by others over their circumstances. While perception plays a role in this, there is the possibility for basis of these fears from past observations.
All of us enter into seasons of trial and difficulty; some more so than others. Jesus even tells us to expect it. It is not a matter of if but when. Job losses, personal struggles, health concerns, death; there are no ends to what can happen to us all. How it happens is important; the response of those in trial and the responses of those around.
Anyone who enters into seasons of trials and receives the compassionate support of family or out of their fellowships is not in the cracks. These have someone actively in their corner praying with as well as for them. Some will pursue the well-being of another and walk with them through the seasons. Some are called specifically by God to another, but in general we are called to watch out for each other. We can get an awareness of other's needs and opportunities to serve and fellowship with one another through the practice of welcoming.
Welcoming comes easy towards those we are normally drawn to; the ones we find easiest to love. They are often in our closest circles, or, those we esteem (welcome) publicly; who have community prominence or favour. It is often easy to welcome the lovable and with a little effort; we can find it pleasurable to support them in seasons of trials.
People in the cracks do not have that kind support. They are not welcomed in the same manner as those we find easy to support. Most people in the cracks are right before us. We often are looking right at them. Out of social habit we offer the "How-are-you's", an exuberant "Welcome" just to gain a predictable "fine" or "great". We often say these things to people without much thought as to its authenticity or relevance to the conversation. The responses we get in return are usually not truthful.
A welcoming person is not just in touch with what is going on around them but one who is seeking the Father for fresh understandings of what His heart is towards us. In essence, we know that G-d is love. We know that we are His because of His love for us. He knows that we are His because of our love for one another. Others know that we are His by our love for each other. This is all about leaving tangible evidence out of doing something outside of ourselves. When people see evidence of our love, they feel safe to receive our welcome.
One application is in reflecting and speaking the Father's Heart (seeking the other's best in kindness and grace); saying what we mean (telling the truth), and meaning what we say (being genuine).
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Often people in the cracks are sensitive to disingenuous or superficial words. Some wince when they hear them, especially when they want someone to feel welcome them or be heard. People in the cracks often know and long for what these gratuitous statements imply. It is no wonder God will hold us accountable for what we say. It is important then to be students of what we say, starting with meaning.
The word "Welcome" in our culture has a broad application as a greeting (interjection), a verb, a noun and an adjective. But all contexts have the same root "wila-cuma" an old English expression of the will (willa; pleasure, desire, choice) and guest (cuma; one that comes). It conveys a meaning that the one's we welcome (those that come before us) are one's we are pleasured to see. In short, we more than acknowledge their presence, we take pleasure in the fact that they are here with us.
One of my best bibles i ever read gave the best earthly definition. That bible came in the form of a remarkable man; Douglas McLaren, a man who innately made everyone know they were welcome. I had the great fortune of knowing him as a neighbour, friend and fellow scouter for over 45 years.
He was also known for his great love and care with words. He passed on recently and left a great legacy. The most prominent was that "He always made each of us feel that, when we arrived to visit, we were exactly the person he was hoping to see.". The Father's Heart reflected.
God gives us wonderful words to meditate and explore. They are likened to jewels with many facets that becomes more brilliant and deep to the beholder as they gaze. Welcome is in deed a jewel.
One facet is found in Psalm 21:3 showing welcome as an interjection and a verb. The NIV and The Amplified Versions illustrate a welcome as a blessing going before some one in anticipation of their arrival. In welcoming you are eagerly anticipating the person you are about to hang a blessing on. Meditating on this has got me excited to welcome the next person i see! What a powerful word!
Jesus' Words recorded in Matthew 18 (NIV and AMP) set the tone for the New Testament references and adds yet another facet to the jewel of welcome. It comes out of the Greek dechomai, "to receive". With it comes the act of taking them in with acceptance in the receiving; also implied in the original. It is the root for other words translated for welcome such as apodechomai (Acts 15:4) which adds the dimensions of taking fully and gladly in the acceptance.
In short, welcoming is synonymous with acceptance, something Jesus does with all of us; whether we are in or out of the Kingdom, cracks or otherwise. He was chastised by the religious folk for taking welcome to the extreme, as He "welcomes sinners and eats with them". As i understand it, eating with someone was also an expression of social intimacy, a custom among the religious reserved only for "their kind".
There are many good examples of welcoming worth meditating on. Here is a list you can follow up on for your own edification. In the mean time let's try to imagine what our next welcome would be like. Who would we welcome? Is it someone we know and admire or is it someone who, up until now, has been a ghost. Ask the Father if none come to mind. I am confident He will show you someone you can truly welcome.
Imagine someone you haven't seen for awhile or has been far off for whatever purpose or reason. Take on the thought of what it would be like to wait expectantly for their return; waiting to bless them immediately on their appearance. I immediately thought of the father depicted in the parable of the welcoming father.
What would you like to say to them? What would be your blessing to them? You see them entering your view and you make eye contact; what are your thoughts? What are you feeling at that moment? Are you ready to reach out in gladness and take them in? For a real challenge; imagine how you would tell/show them they are welcome without using the word "welcome". How would you know that they know it?
There are many reasons that people fall into the cracks. Sometimes it is for reasons out of their control, or of their own doing or perhaps a multitude of things on either side. The reasons why go beyond the scope of this post. However, for this post, the emphasis touches on why people remain there. That too is out of reasons in and outside of their control.
People in the cracks are often unable to lift themselves out. Most have lost hope, become depressed. Some are overwhelmed by their circumstances. Some feel (believe?) they are judged and not accepted. Some are caught in a vicious down-ward spiral of hurt driven despair that feeds the anger and resentment that can keep them there.
Underlying all that is the feeling (belief?) that they are un-welcome; not accepted or wanted. Those feelings often come out of how they perceive their experiences with others. These perceptions are often formed out of some form of cognitive biases or painful experiences. They also may feel that way out of explicit or implicit actions of others towards them. We can come across as un-welcoming to others when our responses are less than genuine or our acceptance of them is conditional (judgmental).
Whatever the issues people in the cracks may have, we can be ignorant of their state mostly because things appear well with most everyone, especially after a rhetorical "how-are-you?". Hurting people often keep to themselves in accord with the degree they are hurt. Some go invisible after attempts at seeking out friendships, understanding or some form of compassionate support fail and defer hope of belonging even further. Think about people you used to see often that have disappeared without apparent cause. It is likely some have fallen into the cracks
Getting out the cracks requires compassionate support that encourages and exhorts, over specific counseling and coaching support. You have heard that it takes a whole village to raise a child. It also takes a few strong folks to come and lift a fallen one. From past experience, it takes at least three, sometimes as many as seven working together to see a fallen one restored. It is good to remember that once restored a fallen one can lift others and teach others to do so in the process.
Undergirding all that is the word and act of welcoming those who are in the cracks. This is something we all can do regardless of our relationship, call or giftings. Does our community have a visible culture of welcoming? Can we or others sense it when they meet with us?
Creating a welcoming culture requires each of us to adopt a spiritual posture and practice of welcoming that transcends our events and programs. Welcoming one another and those outside of our communities requires more than words of welcome. It requires acts of grace, kindness and hospitality that show others they are in deed welcome.
A program or an event may raise awareness of being a welcoming community, but will not take root in us unless we see it as an act of worship; out of love and obedience to the Son. Our love for one another demonstrates to others that we are in deed His Children. Welcoming out of our hearts is one good expression of that love.
What are your thoughts on welcoming?
What are some ways you can be welcoming to others?
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