A Song; I Will Give You a New Song; a Song That Only You Can Sing

"A song; I will give you a new song; a song that only you can sing."

These words came through me; right through my heart enough to evoke tears from the deepest well within me drawn up by God's presence. I am thankful that He was in control of the whole situation. They came at twilight travelling on a south-bound interstate, on the cusp of a blizzard.

Sandy and i were heading south to the Keys for a month of sun and respite from the barren gray cold we Manitobans endure in good old Winter-peg (man how i hate that when anyone else not from here that says it; especially Tron-tonians) The tone it usually comes in grates me more than the bitter cold.

We had the mp3 player loaded and playing a random play list with everything from Claude Bolling, clean on through Texas blues into some inciteful worship. The mix also included some God-timed readings from John Eldredge's “Wild at Heart”. Some how it seemed to flow in an unlikely order; almost as unlikely as me reading that book a few years ago when i first encountered it. Back then, it was suspect new age clap trap that was passed on to me. It had moved into the “Hey there is life in these words class. Now it is a piece that is instrumental in freeing and understanding my heart.

Whatever possessed me to load it was just as much a mystery as the order in which everything seemed to flow out of the randomness of the mp3 player.

John was talking much about our deep heart and how that God has given us a good heart after coming into the Kingdom through Jesus. A song by Russ Taff immediately followed, I believe it was “I Cry”. I have been moved alot in times passed by his music; his songs. They seemed to have a power and depth that came out of life that was forged out of many challenges.

I get the impression that the deep places he writes from came out of the hard and dark places God has walked with him through. There is an edgy-ness to it that doesn't usually come out of someone who comes from a pure religious heritage or an sanitary church life.

Nearing the end of the song i thought to myself, “He has an amazing voice; I sure would like to sing like that.” Within a heart beat, as if on the other side of a conversation, God broke into the song, almost like a warm wind rushing through my body, and said, “I will give you a new song, a song that only you can sing.” Not having any talent (innately or otherwise), or the notion to want to, I was caught off guard. My heart began to stir and emitt a burst of emotion.

Tears began to stream as i tried to choke it back, still trying to comprehend what was happening. What a place to get ambushed; 75 miles an hour on a snow packed road heading into the night. I was begining to liquify similar to the time when i was able to fall over without endangering anyone. It was a good thing that He was in control of the situation.

I was hoping Sandy wasn't tuning in to what was going on although i did provide the gist of what was going on. Now i began to wonder what this new song was all about, especially from the viewpoint of a non-musical, non-singer; it had to mean something else. I pressed in for a better understanding that would consume most of the time when my mind was settling.

An earlier time came to mind when God spoke a similar thing to me. It was at the prayer furnace in November of 2005. We were gathered for a Saturday intimate worship time in the trailers in the King's school. There was about 14 or so gathered to wait on God and worship. God was there. I remember the warmth and the air of a family night at home on a cold winter's night. I was looking at John, drawn to his whistling in the Spirit when God spoke; “I am about to give you a new song, You will awake one morning and will have a new song.” I am used to hearing things for other people, especially from being involved in prayer and counselling ministry. I was hearing clearly as His voice interrupted my stream of consciousness. With that and the direction of my gaze towards John, i began to assume (think actually) that God had meant it for John. I left it alone for a time and prayed somewhat superficially about it.

About a week had past when God began to nudge me about it; either that or it was the brief meet-up with John before worship that Sunday. The familiar conviction that this was something to heed began to settle in and i resolved to talk to John after the gathering time. Casually I asked if he received a new song from the Lord. He cocked his head a bit, paused and said not to his knowledge then moved on. The thought that i was off began to creep in as i bid a hasty “OK then” and turned quickly to hide my embarassment. God had taught me in times past not to sit on words that He was clear about. Perhaps i was not clear about who they were for.

Four years later on the interstate, not soon after the moment had passed i began to wonder; may be that word was for me. Now i am more than certain and curious, and to a growing degree; excited.

I am seeing that a song does not necessarily mean words and music wrapped up in a catchy, lyrical package, but rather its essence; the outpouring of the inmost part of man that expresses the deep heart. Much like the song God gave to Moses; His deep heart about and for Israel. There is much more i can and should elaborate on here, but this will do for now.

It is 06:27 in the morning; Saturday morning, April 18^th. I am sitting up baby-sitting a multiple disk and filesystem rebuild and testing for a client. It is a tedious task that requires a watchful eye through out the process but one that affords time to do other things, like the project i am running behind on or my major tax audit preparation. But no, I am once again drawn to find out what in the world this new song is about. I am really trusting God that it is Him goading me along at this moment. The trigger this time, was hearing another song, a song from an unexpected source.

By now the name of Susan Boyle is renown throughout the world. Five or six days ago, she was little known and getting ready for yet another attempt to be heard, not her opinons or intellect, but something from out of her deep heart; her song. I first noticed that a Facebook friend, Doreen had posted a video link and declared herself a fan. I glanced briefly at the picture and gave it a little thought as to what this woman had done; perhaps it was something noble, overcomming a disability perhaps and doing something that would shame the average person.

Then i heard a clip being played a not two days ago. It was her winning audition on the UK version of Idol, Britains Got Talent, to none other than Simon Cowel and crew. I looked at her, then the judges faces. Simon, the grand inquistitor and judge asked her why she was there. Her answers seemed to invoke a few screwed faces and polite(?) fits of giggles. But she was quite certain of her answer to Simon and the rest of the world; she has come to take another run at her dream, to be a professional singer, and but for someone to hear her for what was inside her. Simon asked her what her song was to be. Appropriate for the moment it was “I dreamed a dream” from Les Miserables.

In near concert with the jaw dropping responses, my own heart began to well up much like on the interstate back in January of this year. I began to cry, well almost, as much as a man would admit to. There were people around and i felt the need to restrain myself, or, maybe to push it back down, whatever it was that was about to come out. It was the same welling emotion that over took me when my father played his violin, the same deep place that Ruth Fazal reached with her prophetic playing.

I can still see Simon Cowel's face, beaming like the glory of God on Moses' face as waves of stunned cruel unbeliever rose to their feet in cheers. It was the witness of something spectacular; it was her glory, the full weight of who she was, how God has made her coming out in full force. What was even more amazing was the instant spirit of repentance and humility that overtook the initial cynical audience, as well as the female judge, who apologized for her thoughts. It was shock, awe and bewilderment wrapped in a strange sense of joy. The confident joy that came from Susan was instantly spread throughout the audience. The recall of that moment is still powerful, and nearly liquefying me. What is God saying here; what is He saying to me, to my heart right now? This is too intense to dismiss as mere mob emotion.

I thought i would ask God again to show me more of what He meant by a song and more specifically, the new song He is preparing me for or for me (i think it is all the same). I thought to start again by reading the song of moses, with the mind to catch the context from what was going on before and after the reciting of the song. <<I could add more about the digestion of that but i am anxious to get to the part where God spoke again>>.

I asked Him about the song. He responded in three parts starting with the third to the first. It actually reads well either way so here it is, in the final resting order it appeared on the paper i jotted it down on.

“My song to Moses was spoken from My Heart to my people so that they would remember Me and who they were; but it was a song of judgement.

“Remember the dark things of the dark things of the heart that can pursue you and bring death. I will purge them from you and cleanse your heart (even as I am cleansing it now).”

“It is a song of life; one that brings life.”

There is quite a bit in those words, as they mesh with recent dreams and past revelations. However it is 07:12 and i need sleep. Perhaps i will be able to flow again to finish this in God's time.